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Queen to be replaced by waxwork
The Royal Wave broken down to its constituent parts in a double exposure photograph. Following the Queen’s lacklustre performance in the House of Lords last week, it has emerged that her majesty is...
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Queen to fight McGuinness
The Queen has won her last seven fights by technical knock-out, all before the third round A bitter rivalry that makes the Hayes-Chisora feud look like a nursery school squabble comes to a head today,...
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Queen told to fuck herself
Try not to automatically punch her in the kidneys and call her a vag-faced Aussie cockmaster Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II was this morning repeatedly told to “Fuck off”, “Piss off” and generally “Go...
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Queen to go on OAP ‘work outing’
It’s also been suggested her Maj could revisit her earlier, brief career, moonlighting as a high-class escort Queen Elizabeth II will today take part in a new trial scheme which the government is...
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R4 Woman’s Hour discovers previously unknown monarch
Despite her modest appearance, she’s actually quite important. Who’da thunkit? Research carried out by Woman’s Hour – the BBC radio programme that is definitely not just a bunch of menopausal Medusas...
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Ennis: “Queen groped my boobs”
“Before I knew what was happening she’d raised her hands like this, and then…’Honk Honk!'” wept the Olympian. The London 2012 heptathlon champion, Jessica Ennis, made shocking accusations against the...
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Queen to reinstate capital punishment
Finally there will be a reason to buy the crappy out-of-date fruit that the cornershop sells Her Majesty the Queen is expected to outline a number of socially regressive laws in her speech today,...
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Resurgent Britain to re-take ex-imperial domains
New research shows that if the world was a luxury shopping mall, Britain would be the market stall outside. With the birth of the royal baby only hours away, victory in the Ashes, Murray’s Wimbledon...
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